my online friend who I don't talk to as frequently anymore but used to be close with before I went full asocial sent me a message randomly saying he had a vasectomy today

idk why that makes me feel sad to read

He has often had low self esteem and I remember him telling me he never wanted to have kids because he hates his genetics, especially his mother who was abusive.

I always felt guilty for kind of shutting him off (not overtly I just stopped interacting), it's not him personally and maybe he knows that, I just push others away.